Thursday, December 8, 2011

Merry Christmas or Happy Holiday's which is it?

Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays which is it?
The subtitle is: Is December 25th Christmas Day or Expectation day.
When it comes to the debate over Merry Christmas or Happy Holiday’s you can say what you want but the real choice is made in your heart.
I have been quickly becoming known as the Grinch in my house when it comes to Christmas. It’s not that I don’t love Christmas because I do. The fact is I hate what Christmas has become even to the point that the phrase: remember the reason for the season has become clique.  Some who read this may think that my tirade is because I am a religious person that has went off the deep end and thinks that if you rearrange the letters in Santa your you get Satan, oh wait you do. But that’s not it at all the fact is its much deeper for me than that. Yes, I do think that most have forgotten the real reason for the season and honestly in today’s society there are those who have never known why we celebrate Christmas. Just to let you know up front I do think that Christmas is to first and foremost celebrate the birth of Jesus and the reason we should celebrate is because he came to this earth to sacrifice himself as a payment for our sins. The second thing I want you to know is that I am not on a crusade to vilify everything else associated with Christmas. I would just like to see everything put in the proper perspective.
Now if you notice one of the controversies associated with this time of year is whether you say Merry Christmas or Happy Holiday’s. I still think most people say Merry Christmas. However if Jesus is not the focus of the season please just say Happy Holiday’s because you can’t have Christmas without Christ. I really find it interesting that Santa is mythical and Jesus is real yet Santa gets the most press. 
Easter has become about bunnies and eggs and not about the resurrection.  Thanksgiving is now about turkey, football, and shopping and not about truly giving thanks. And to close out the year Christmas is now about Santa and expectations. Besides the wrong focus on the season I think it’s the unrealistic expectations that tend to make me Grinch like this time of year. I recently sat through the original “How the Grinch Stole Christmas “and had three thoughts. The first was what if the Grinch came today and took all of the “stuff” associated with Christmas would it come anyway?  The second is much tougher to explain so I won’t even try and that is was what he did such a bad thing?  The third is stranger yet and involves socialism, won’t touch that one either.
When it comes to all of the expectations associated with Christmas and there are many we will look the top five that bug me.  
5. Music
Everyone is expected to like Christmas music. It’s true stop and think about it. I have gone on record saying that I don’t like Christmas music and when I say this I really get a strange look. It’s not that I don’t like it but please define for me what Christmas music is.  Shouldn’t Christmas music be about Jesus? If a song does not reference Jesus is it Christmas music?  If not should be called Happy Holiday’s music. In theory is not any praise or worship music Christmas music and be sung all year? I do love all types of music as long as it’s done well and if you’re honest most “Christmas” music is not very well done.  I think some artists may just slap there voice on a Christmas song to feel good about themselves. So to set the record straight Christmas music must contain Christ and if well done I do like it. Happy Holiday’s music is all that other stuff that talks about silver bells, snow, Santa and the like. That is harder for me to take.
4. Food
Food is even an expectation at Christmas. Now admit it there are things that you only think about eating at Christmas time. Why is that? If these are some of your favorite foods why do you only make them at Christmas? I just love fried mush and as a kid my mom would make it every day for breakfast between Thanksgiving and Christmas now today it has been cut to Christmas day only. Again why? I’m sure you can think of many things you love that you too only get once a year. Another word comes to mind in the food category that would fit in every other category as well that is associated with Christmas and that is overindulgence. Why not take the food you love and spread it out throughout the year?
3. Decorations
You are expected to decorate at Christmas inside and out. Do you know how hard it is to find Christmas decorations that have anything to do with Christ? If you go to any regular retailer take a look around and see how many decorations you can find have anything to do with Jesus.  Again are you putting up Christmas lights or Happy Holiday lights? I know this may come across as harsh but in a sense displaying Santa Claus at Christmas would be like flying the North Korean or Chinese flag on the 4th of July it has nothing to do with the real reason for the season. What would you think if you walked into a house on Christmas day and there was not a single decoration? My point exactly. When it comes to Christmas lights and decorations why not decorate your heart with Christ everyday and be a light that those you come into contact with can see it every day.
2. Schedule
How many times have you been expected to attend a gathering just because it’s Christmas. What fun is that when you are expected? Look at your calendar right now is it getting filled with holiday gatherings? If all of these people who you plan on seeing are that important to you then why don’t you get together at others times in the year. It gets to the point where people get stressed out because there are so many places they are expected to be due to the fact that it is Christmas. I always find it interesting or should I say sad when a gathering becomes and expectation. Have you ever heard someone say “ I am having Christmas at this time and this time only and who ever can come can come.” There is no flexibility on time no considering an alternate time to perhaps get everyone or at least more people there. I think that is sad and Christmas then becomes about the person and not the Christ.
1.       Gifts
The number one expectation that bugs me about Christmas is the expectations surrounding gifts. Here are a couple of stats surrounding Christmas gifts. Around 22% of Americans actually take out personal loans to afford holiday gifts, while around 68% utilize credit cards to fund the ‘necessities’ of this holiday. On average, parents spend around $400 per child during the holidays on gifts and holiday accessories. Sounds ridiculous doesn’t it? But it happens and a lot of times it’s a keeping up with the Jones’s theme. I sure for many there have been times that a gift limit is set (which is a whole other topic it’s self) that still may be too high for some but they are afraid to let anyone know. I remember a time that we would literally buy our last gifts (because we were expected to bring gifts) on Christmas eve day and take all the money we got on Christmas day and put it in the bank right away to cover the checks we had written. Is that really Christmas?
This leads me to gift lists, gift cards and gift exchanges.  Let’s take the list first, Now be honest how many times have you had to stop and think who you told what you wanted hoping that you didn’t give two people that same item. In all honesty if you do your Christmas list right you will know exactly what you are getting for Christmas. I am as guilty as the next person about getting a gift for someone that is on their list. Why because I want them to like it. If you buy something from a list does it cease to become a gift and become an expectation?  Now for gift cards I’ll have to admit they are more of a gift than money but not by much, I’ve bought a few myself. When you’re so afraid you’ll mess up because the person you are giving the gift to has certain expectations on what they will get, you just get a gift card or better yet money so they can go out and get what they want so they won’t be disappointed. After all its Christmas and you don’t want to disappoint. Then for gift exchanges if I had to guess 80 to 90% of the gifts given at Christmas time come as part of an exchange. If you give one you get one and in a large percentage of those the dollar amount is going to be pretty close.  At what point does it change from a gift to an expectation? All reminds me of a saying my dad has said for years when it came to gift giving he said sarcastically I may add “ you give me a $20 bill and I’ll give you a $20 bill and say Merry Christmas.”
If there comes a point where especially in family situations, what if you want or need to get out of the gift exchange? Can you really just say to people, “Don’t Buy Me a Christmas Present as I Am Not Buying You One,” without being ostracized from humanity?
The people I admire are the ones who will give a Christmas gift to someone they don’t even know expecting nothing in return. That is a gift and not an expectation. There are others who may in their heart want to do that as well but the expectations of other drain every penny they have so they are not able to do what they’d like. That’s sad but unfortunately it happens.  
In closing
All of the expectations associated with Christmas for most ends up in one of two places and that’s stress and or depression. Christmas time is the most likely time of the year to experience depression. The suicide rate is higher during December than any other month, which tells us that Christmas depression should be taken quite seriously. Depression at Christmas time can be triggered by a multitude of things, such as losses, failures, and loneliness. People fail to recognize that holidays are stressful enough to trigger a depression. Sometimes the hustle and bustle and the need to produce (food, presents, parties, and the lot) are enough to seriously frustrate a person right into a depression. Feeling disconnected with the holidays can easily lead to a mild to moderate depression. It’s sad, but Christmas overload has taken its toll on many people. Families are inhaling their Thanksgiving dinners and rapidly pushing away from the table in order to stand in line that night to get a good deal on a flat screen television. They are leaving friends and family early so they can rush out on Black Friday which has now officially started on Thanksgiving. Have we forgotten that Black Friday is a month (or more) away from Christmas? While the stuff you are filling your house with and racking up your credit card bill with might be a good deal, there is a good chance THE STUFF will be there the week before Christmas. But your family….you never know.
No one seems to go overboard during any other time of the year. If it were simply the religious importance of the holiday than most Christians would start celebrating Easter in February.
Again No, I don’t hate Christmas as it may sound. I do however hate what it has become. If you want to celebrate the Holiday’s that’s fine.  But if you want to call it Christmas at least invite Christ after all it’s His party.
On the next blog I will try and outline my perfect Christmas.

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